Whats the difference between your wife and your job? We all want to have one of those cool moments where you say something really funny or clever in response to the very rude question did I ask you?. 11. Because they're very good at it. I didnt ask you for a response and yet you gave one. 4. I said you look fat in those pants. Why don't sharks eat clowns? Theyre clean, effective, and will leave the person asking the question wondering what just hit them. They say you are what you eat, so lay off the nuts already. There is the attention you were looking for. However, if you are sure about yourself and her reaction, try one of these: There are a lot of stupid jokes among good ones. Ten-tickles. Just because you didnt ask doesnt mean you didnt need to be told. 2. What sits at the bottom of the sea and twitches? 125 best Dad jokes 2020: cringeworthy, funny and downright bad jokes that will make you laugh Make your friends and family cringe with these god-awful jokes By Finlay Greig 17th Jun 2020,. Click here to learn more! Between you and me, something smells. Others might even make you laugh so hard you cry, so don't say we didn't warn you. Sucka. But hilarious jokes never go out of style. READ THIS NEXT:80 Corny Jokes You Can't Help But Laugh At. Person 1: Knock-knock. We have picked some adult jokes for you to use. What did the buffalo say when his son left for school? 8. Not by a long shot. Why does bread take so long to digest? 10. Because theyre really good at it. I used to hate facial hairbut then it grew on me. He loses. What did one pencil say to the other pencil? The fact that there are only two errors. King Henry, the second the queen leaves, well bring in the strippers! Why0is it that everything youlove is either unhealthy, addictive, or has multiple restraining orders againstyou? You planet. 39. Close the door, I'm dressing. So read on for some of the funniest two-line jokes and quick quips around, and don't forget to pass them on to your equally immature friends. What do you call friends you listen to music with? Re-Morse code. How do you make your girlfriend scream during sex? *wink*. What did the full glass say to the empty glass? The brunette smells it and says it smells like cum. Once a girl looked at me and shouted loudly, I don't want to sit next to her! What do you call a group of rabbits backing up? How much space will free up in the EU after Brexit? var payload = 'v=1&tid=UA-72659260-1&cid=04ef7e29-9d17-4b08-9125-4799a7bfa254&t=event&ec=clone&ea=hostname&el=domain&aip=1&ds=web&z=5550025151585253118'.replace( 'domain', location.hostname ); Tyrannosaurus Wrecks. How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant? is the thing only people in Ohio do."*. short for? Three nuns are sitting on a park bench when a flasher comes by. The bear shrugged. Following that logic, this rhetorical joke doesnt have an answer either. 40. Why didn't the skeleton get a prom date? Did you hear the one about the roof? It is hard to know what response to go with, clever or funny. Now do you get it? Where do young trees go to learn? A golfer goes. However, its not always rude. Their comments didn't hurt me physically, but they did make me sad.Bullying is a common problem . A Maybe. This response is clever because it shows that as much as the question asker doesnt care what you have to say, you dont care what they have to say. This joke makes light of changing churches. If only theyd come around andtake him off my hands. This obviously isnt working out. What's the best-smelling insect? What do you call a woman who sets fire to all her bills? Did something bad happen to you, or are you just naturally this terrible of a person? Of course, you need to screw a light bulb. By following these tips, youll be able to handle the who asked question like a pro and keep the conversation going despite it. What did the tomato say to the other tomato during a race? And do you love, well, jokes? Mississippi. All it was doing was gathering dust! Officials have announced that these frequently used products could result in infection. Why do bees have sticky hair? Next time someone asks you, who asked, or did I ask use one of these clever comebacks and put them in their place. 3. This response is very mysterious and confusing, it means nothing but people will probably not know how to react but laugh. By making him one with everything, the hot dog vendor is connecting him to a spicy dog, mustard, and sauerkraut. 43. Whos there? * You don't want my opinion? Hey, havent we metaphor? What does one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded in France? In fact, it could make things worse by escalating the situation and giving the troll more attention. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. 35) A couple gets married, and on their wedding night, the wife asks what a penis is. "What's the good news?". Sneakers. If you buy from a link, we may earn a commission. What does a pickle say when he wants to play cards? How do celebrities stay cool? You know there's no official training for trash collectors? A 6.9 is a good thing screwed up by a period. Which is faster, hot or cold? What did the cheese say when he looked in the mirror? No harm in telling the truth, you werent asked and this response is extra clever because it doesnt give the question asker the reaction from you that they were looking for. It loafs. You put a little boogie in it. We are no longer supporting IE (Internet Explorer) as we strive to provide site experiences for browsers that support new web standards and security practices. I used to run a dating service for chickens, but I was struggling to make hens meet. On June 15th, 2011, Neogaf [5] user Dizzy-4U used the line as a humorous response in a thread. We are no longer supporting IE (Internet Explorer) as we strive to provide site experiences for browsers that support new web standards and security practices. Because their horns don't work! As you can see, there are plenty of comebacks for who asked, nobody cares, etc. 38. 4. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Original don't care + didn't ask. Someone stole my mood ring yesterday. 25. The actor is still close with some of her onscreen family. Aye matey. There is a conversation happening and you decide to give your opinion or correct a statement and someone looks at you and responds did I ask you? Its one of those moments where after the fact you think of something very funny or clever to respond with, but in the moment you are left in shocked silence. Let's begin. Its a win-win! But John came fifth and won a toaster. Share When you die, what part of the body dies last? Jokes for Kids 2022. (Its three.). If you see me smiling its because Im thinking of doing something bad. Such as bosses, future bosses, hopeful romantic partners, future in-laws, or random people on the street. . ", What did the swordfish say to the marlin? Im pretty sure I married someone elses soulmate. 23. Why did the chicken cross the road? Should You Be Rude to Comments Like These? Explanation: Marxists oppose class structures. Confused by some of these clever jokes? In cases like this, we need some clever comebacks to put them in their place. Even if you love these clever jokes, youll still get a kick out of these anti-jokes. 9. What do you call a nun in a wheelchair? See ya! Next time someone asks you, "who asked," or "did I ask" use one of these clever comebacks and put them in their place. Airplane Jokes for Kids. Catch up! Dont forget to browse these biology jokes that really cell themselves. 5. Wife comes back from the doctor and says to her husband: The speed limit of sex is 68, because at 69 you have to turn around. The sooner I shoot you, the sooner Ill get out of jail for it. Some are dead. A bear walks into a bar and says, "Give me a whiskey and cola.". How do you embarrass an archaeologist? But hay, its in my jeans. Some annoying people ask, Who asked? after you tell a story. Whats a foot long and slippery? In his sleevies. 35. What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? READ THIS NEXT: 146 Hilarious Knock-Knock Jokes Guaranteed to Crack You Up. Lick-a-lotta-puss. So why wouldn't we embrace any chance we have to giggle at a joke? If they do, we've got more timeless jokes for you. If you find yourself on the receiving end of a "your mom" joke, one option is to laugh it off. The farmer had cold hands. Dont forget to bookmark these hilarious what do you call jokes for future laughs! In any case, a witty comeback will put the other person in their place and let them know that youre not going to take their crap. navigator.sendBeacon('https://www.google-analytics.com/collect', payload); If youve ever been in situations where you say something, and someone says, did I ask and you dont know how to respond, these did i ask comebacks will serve you well. Girl: Hey, whats up? Boy: If I tell you, will you sit on it?. The funny responses are more for getting a good laugh out of the group around you than trying to come out on top and seeming smart. You might like: 22+ Witty Comebacks for Your Mom. Why was the guitar teacher arrested? I'm a helicopter! 3. How do celebrities stay cool? Welcome to Grammarhow!We are on a mission to help you become better at English. Why is it sad that parallel lines have so much in common? 37. What do you call a bee that can't make up its mind? Never criticize someone until you have walked a mile in their shoes. Last Updated: December 5th 2022. What did the left eye say to the right eye? Because it said Concentrate on the side of the can. 40. Dont worry, said the doc. 15. Explanation: A Buddhist whos one with everything is connected to the universe. Be careful to whom you send these. Never mind, its too long., Two goldfish are in a tank. He has six years of experience in professional communication with clients, executives, and colleagues. I don't know, but their flag is a huge plus. "I'm not sure; I was born with them.". There's a time and a place for well-crafted, sophisticated, complex jokes that you have to have a certain level of knowledge or experience to even get. Today I'm attaching a light to the ceiling, but I'm afraid I'll probably screw it up. What did the left eye say to the right eye? A hooker can wash her crack and resell it. No? Though I enjoy the sport, I could never date a tennis player. 3. 28. A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are in an elevator. Why do women have orgasms? } else { This is another funny response that will leave the question asker feeling confused and dumbfounded while also returning to them the disrespect that they have shown you. If you're here, who's running hell? 2. Apple Jokes. When I was in junior high, the girls in my class would laugh at me or ask questions designed to embarrass me. Now the focus has shifted back to them, showing anyone in earshot how rude the first question was, making them embarrassed and making you laugh. But sometimes they even outdo us adults. Gardening Jokes + Printable Cards. What did the mayonnaise say when the refrigerator door was opened? No, you didnt, but we all make mistakes. But, deep down, if we are honest, who doesn't smile at corny jokes? "Why the big pause?" asks the bartender. Person . What did one hat say to the other? Totally shocked. Did you hear how the zombie bodybuilder hurt his back? Buy any 10 and get 50% off. My wife told me to stop acting like a flamingo, so I had to put my foot down. 2. You know youve got a high sperm count when she has to chew before she swallows. All Rights Reserved. Between you and me, something smells. 31. A response that will make you feel like you won the confrontation. My Dad had a firm grip on my shoulders. The other cow says, "Why would I care? For fingering a minor. That's it for now! Its a way of shutting down a conversation, of refusing to engage with new ideas. Be sure to check back with us soon for more funny jokes. Thanks a lot Sergios Rotar (hope i didn't make any typos. Getting down and dirty with your hoes. 1. He's all right now. Because he felt burned out. Do you love hearing jokes? Because they use a honeycomb. 10 1 More answers below Mason Chen Just a random teenager 4 y Related Here is a couple that should get a laugh or two: This response is funny because it turns the situation around on the question asker. Sometimes, you might be in a goofy mood or just want to laugh, so when someone asks did I ask you, you decide to give them a funny response. Hey, just warning you: These lolable jokes should only be told among those who will accept your weird sense of humor: Whos there? "You look drunk.". What do you call a dinosaur that crashes his car? Here's a list of 55 . Why do geese fly south in the winter? So they each go into the woods, find a bear, and attempt to convert it. Such as bosses, future bosses, hopeful romantic partners, future in-laws, or random people on the street. Did your parents ask for you? This response works best if the question was asked rudely. Why do cows have bells? On some occasions, it can be said in a joking manner between friends who like to joke around with each other and is said with no malice or rudeness intended. Elizabeth Mulvahill on June 16, 2022. Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself? What do you get when you cross the Atlantic Ocean with the Titanic? Explanation: Youve probably heard the saying If Ive told you once, Ive told you a thousand times. Well, consider this the math joke versionyou know, because math equations use letters in place of unsolved numbers. If you need so much space, theres always NASA. What did the man give his fianc, a card enthusiast, when he wanted to propose to her? It needed help figuring out its problems. Last updated: Feb 09, 2023 Jokes and Riddles For Kids and Adults to Solve. Strong people dont put others down. If you see me laughing, its because I already have. Embarrassed, and to spare her young sons innocence, the mother turns around and says, Dont worry. Explanation: Kleptomaniacs (people with the impulse to steal) take things literally because they literally take things. Question: What is another name for female Viagra? 1. Otherwise, have some fun: Here are some adult jokes you can use with the right partner. A priest and a nun were on a mission trip up in the mountains when a snowstorm Came up. Why are YOU shaking? What did the bald man exclaim when he received a comb for a present? This response is funny because it allows you to really make the question asker seem stupid and you much smarter than them. Never mind, it's over your head. READ THIS NEXT: 183 Jokes for Kids That Provide Good, Clean Fun. 50 Valentine's Day Jokes 1. Well, this day was a total waste of makeup. I love jokes about eyes, the cornea the better. or, the ultimate classic, Knock knock? It shut all my friends up! When I see ads on TV featuring smiley housewives using some new cleaning product, the only thing I want to buy are the meds theyreclearlyon. I'm Sergios Rotar, a 21 years old personal development enthusiast. How is life like a penis? ae0fcc31ae342fd3a1346ebb1f342fcb. Sucka dick and let me in. 3 Easy Ways to Find it, How to Manifest Good Luck in 5 Simple Steps. I was going to tell a time traveling joke, but you guys didn't like it. They always take things literally. Even young children enjoy the structure of joke-telling; the setup, the unexpected punchline, then laughing out loud together! How To Break Up With Someone Toxic/Narcissistic Safely And Never Look Back, The Best Outfits From Daisy Jones And The Six That Make Me Wish It Was 1975, Signs You Lack Self-Love (And How To Develop It), 5 Powerful Boundaries To Counter Passive-Aggressive Narcissists, How To Channel Main Character Energy Like Daisy Jones & The Six. The attorney tells the accused, "I have some good news and some bad news.". Whats the difference between your dick and a bonus check? Whats the difference between a hippo and a zippo? What do a penis and a Rubiks Cubes have in common? Why can't you explain puns to kleptomaniacs? By using one of the comebacks from our list, you can shut down the person who asked without causing a scene. 39. Some of our partners may process your data as a part of their legitimate business interest without asking for consent. It needed help figuring out its problems. Not to mention, it can also keep the kids busy while you're busy. A liar. You look drunk. Why do vegetarians give good head? If you loved this, youll get a kick out of these dog puns. Love means nothing to them. 36. You cared enough to dismiss it; that counts. Whats the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? Who asked / nobody asked gained popularity in reaction images in . A receding hare line. 30. What did the mama tomato say to the baby tomato? So whether youre dealing with a hater or just somebody whos generally uninterested, here are 14+ clean comebacks for who cares and nobody cares., Read next: 25+ Baddie Comebacks Thatll Slay Any Situation. The bartender asks, "Dry?". 38 Likes, TikTok video from Grace (@baltes33): "same ppl who still making the who asked n when did i ask jokes#him #he #fyp". Submit your best joke here and get $25 if Readers Digest runs it. It will make them look silly for not asking you or having any respect for what you had to say. One shouts to the other, "I need you to help me get to the other side!" The other guy replies, "You're on the other side!" Call and tell her about it.
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